Elizabeth Weintraub • Sacramento Real Estate Agent: November 2018

How Far Would You Go For a Colonoscopy?

I've heard of emergency helicopter rides from Kona to Honolulu that supposedly cost $8,000. Although to fly one-way in coach on Hawaiian Airlines, today's fare is only $79. Which means if you can schedule your emergency doctor visits, you'll save a ton of money. On top of this, the distance between the Ellison Onizuka Kona International Airport at Keāhole and the Daniel K. Inouye International Airport (Honolulu International Airport) is 163.28 miles. Flight time is about 45 minutes.

If all goes well, you get off the plane, go down the escalator, and hop into your cab for a 4 or 5 mile ride. What could be easier? And fortunately, it wasn't MY colonoscopy we had to fly from Kona to Honolulu for. That's the best part.

The problem we encountered was trying to get home. Well, that, and an appraiser in Sacramento would NOT leave me alone. He wanted ME to make the appointment for the appraisal, and he had questions. Lots of questions that he simply could not be bothered to put into an email or a text message and he insisted upon talking by phone. Look buddy, I'm at the HOSPITAL!! Finally he backed off. Although it didn't help that my team member told him I was on vacation. Sheesh. Since when have these old appraisers been so damn pushy?

But back to getting home. The procedure started earlier than we had anticipated, and ended earlier than we thought, too. So we were faced with 4 hours between us and going back to Kona. I tried to change our reservations online, but because my friend's insurance company had paid for the trip, we could not do it. Which meant, like that grouchy old apprasier, I had to call Hawaiian Airlines myself.

We got the trip home confirmed on an earlier flight. Yay! But, since I was physically sitting in the hospital waiting room, I could not print our boarding passes. The reservations clerk at Hawaiian continued to insist that I could get a mobile ticket, and I continued to inform her I was using my laptop computer and no, I could not choose an option for a mobile ticket. That's when she lowered the bomb on me that I needed to use the Hawaiian Airlines app.

I asked: You are aware that the Hawaiian Airlines app is broken, right? I tried to use the app a few years ago and it didn't work. It still doesn't work today, although it seems abandoned now. Just got a blue screen that said something is not right. Yeah, something is not right all right. That something is the fact that Hawaiian Airlines is not operating in the 21st century. For an airline founded in 1929 with almost 60 aircraft, they can do oh-so-much better.

I deleted the app from my phone and reinstalled. Still didn't work. Tried it off WiFi. Nope. Turned off my VPN. Nope. Well, thank god for kiosks at the airport.

Oh, as an odd sideline, I picked up a listing while sitting in the waiting room. A seller I could not get in touch with finally emailed me. I explained that I had to accompany my friend to get a colonoscopy at a special place because my friend has a stent in her heart. She can't go just anywhere for a colonoscopy. It takes a special anethesia. For which this seller was very grateful because it turns out he has a stent in HIS heart and has not yet had a colonoscopy. The things you learn . . .

You can read more in my personal blog today about that experience at this link: Taking a Friend to Kaiser in Honolulu for a Colonoscopy.

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Elizabeth Weintraub is co-partner of Weintraub & Wallace Team of Top Producing Realtors, an author, home buying expert at The Balance, a Land Park resident, and a veteran real estate agent who specializes in older, classic homes in Land Park, Curtis Park, Midtown, Carmichael and East Sacramento, as well as tract homes in Elk Grove, Natomas, Roseville and Lincoln. Call Elizabeth Weintraub at 916.233.6759. Put our combined 80 years of real estate experience to work for you. Broker-Associate at RE/MAX Gold. DRE License # 00697006.

Photo: Unless otherwise noted in this blog, the photo is copyrighted by Big Stock Photo and used with permission.The views expressed herein are Weintraub's personal views and do not reflect the views of RE/MAX Gold. Disclaimer: If this post contains a listing, information is deemed reliable as of the date it was written. After that date, the listing may be sold, listed by another brokerage, canceled, pending or taken temporarily off the market, and the price could change without notice; it could blow up, explode or vanish. To find out the present status of any listing, please go to elizabethweintraub.com.

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