Some sellers strip homes when they move. It's not just the stripping of foreclosures that causes problems in a Sacramento real estate transaction, although those situations can make it difficult for a buyer to get a loan. And the insurance companies, I hear, are pursuing previous owners who have bashed the daylights out of their former homes.
Some sellers take everything that is not tied down and then some. They even unscrew the light bulbs, if you can believe that. How much is a 99-cent light bulb with 25% of its useful life remaining actually worth? It makes you wonder if the sellers also sweep up the spilled cornflakes on the floor and eat those with their bare hands.
An agent can explain the concept of fixtures to a seller until the cows come home and some of them don't care. They put in that ceiling fan, so they're taking it, and they don't care if it leaves a big gaping hole in the ceiling nor that it's against the law to remove it. As a Sacramento short sale agent, I try to avoid taking these types of listings. I don't need the headache. I certainly don't need the liability.
But imagine my delight yesterday when I discovered a short sale home in Sacramento had the toilet paper left on the rolls in the bathrooms. I did not use the toilet paper for the purpose intended, but I was nonetheless thrilled to discover it. That's because toilet paper has many uses.
What did I use it for? You can blame it on those danged carbon monoxide detectors. Fortunately, I have two trunks in my car. My back trunk is filled with lockboxes, but my front trunk is loaded to the gills with carbon monoxide detectors. That's because I am sick and tired of buyer's agents whining that there are no carbon monoxide detectors in the house. So, I bought a bunch of them and filled up my trunk.
What happens is the buyer's appraiser goes out to the home. Notes that there is no carbon monoxide detector, as required by California law as of July 1, and the appraiser does not sign off on the appraisal. Nope, the appraiser charges the buyer $125 to come back out and verify that the CO detector is there. Which means the buyer's agent has to go buy a CO detector and install it. Then the buyer's agent calls me and complains. Even though I tell the sellers when I take the listing to buy and install a carbon monoxide detector, sometimes they don't.
So, to heck with it, I'll just buy the damn things myself and install them. Which is what I was doing yesterday in a vacant home in Natomas. I am listing two more short sales in Natomas this week. My phone rang, and I was having difficulty opening the tamper-proof packaging. Darn those crooks. If it wasn't for thieves stealing merchandise, manufacturers would not make those plastic packages impossible to open. You practically need a hand grenade.
But I had a ballpoint pen. That was my weapon. I was standing at the kitchen counter repeatedly stabbing the packaging, pressed my Jawbone to answer my cell and WHAMMO simultaneously managed to tattoo my upper lip. Kids: don't try this at home. The pen slipped and I stabbed myself in the face. I could hear my mother now: You're gonna poke your eye out with that.
It hurt and it was bleeding. Can't trust me with a ballpoint pen. I have a Swiss army knife contraption in my glove box, but did I go out to the car to get it? Ha. I'm lucky it was just a small hole. Even luckier that I had toilet paper on the premises to stop the bleeding. It's a good thing my ink was blue and not black. I think the blue will fade faster. Black would look like a pimple. Blue is more regal.
Who says the life of a Sacramento short sale agent isn't dangerous?
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Certified HAFA Specialist
My Sacramento Real Estate Listings
Elizabeth Weintraub is an author, home buying columnist for The New York Times-owned About.com, a Land Park resident, and a Land Park real estate agent who specializes in older, classic homes in Land Park, Curtis Park, Midtown and East Sacramento. Weintraub is also a Sacramento Short Sale agent who lists and successfully sells short sales throughout the four-county Sacramento area. Call Elizabeth Weintraub at 916.233.6759. Put 35 years of real estate experience to work for you. Broker-Associate at Lyon Real Estate. DRE License # 00697006.
The Short Sale Savior, by Elizabeth Weintraub, available at Amazon.com.
Lyon Real Estate is not associated with the government, and our service is not approved by the government or your lender. Even if you accept this offer and use our service, your lender may not agree to change your loan.
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The views expressed herein are Weintraub's personal views and do not reflect the views of Lyon Real Estate.
Disclaimer: If this post contains a listing, information is deemed reliable as of the date it was written. After that date, the listing may be sold, listed by another brokerage, canceled, pending or taken temporarily off the market, and the price could change without notice. It could blow up, explode or vanish. To find out the present status of any listing, please go to elizabethweintraub.com.
