Elizabeth Weintraub • Sacramento Short Sale Agent • Land Park

Some people are so busy being a pompous ass that they can't listen when you try to tell them good news. They want to hear the sound of their own voice and not yours. If they would just quiet down for a moment, they might find out important information about a Sacramento short sale.

But this is the thing about talking to people from the public. Odds are some of them are jerks. They are the kind who will cut in line at the grocery store and then ram the cart into your back. They can't win with you because if they say they are sorry, you still know they are not. If they don't apologize, you dislike them for that, too.

That's because everybody has their own story, their own way of interpreting the facts. It might not be the way you see it. It doesn't make you right and them wrong, or vice versa.

An alleged buyer called yesterday. He began the conversation with an offensive tone to his voice. To me, it sounded like the voice of insecurity, disguised as omnipotence. The guy asked -- in a long drawn-out sentence to set the stage, opening with the fact that he was unrepresented -- about a short sale. It's a short sale that has been active short contingent for several months. It's about ready to get approved. I had yanked it out of the foreclosure fire by postponing the auction.

When I told him one of the advantages of being represented was he could receive short sale listings that were for sale and available to buy, he got his knickers in a twist. I didn't get a chance to tell him about any of the other short sales he could buy. He cut me off. He said that as a lawyer he would represent himself, and as a lawyer he didn't have access to MLS and, above all, he was totally wasting his time making fruitless phone calls, because it annoyed him just to have to dial the phone.

Whose fault is that, Sherlock?

It's a good thing I'm not naive enough to judge all lawyers by this guy. In fact, I work with a lot of lawyers. I don't know if it's that the Sacramento area is crawling with lawyers or if they simply gravitate toward a Sacramento short sale agent who enjoys a good argument and analyzing complex situations; I love working with lawyers, and the feeling is reciprocal. But this guy?

He's got personal injury written all over him. Just call it my intuition. Hell will freeze over before he will buy anything. And he's missing out on some great Sacramento short sales, because I list and sell a large inventory of short sales in our four-county area.

I've got a million short sale stories in Sacramento. This is just one of them. Tomorrow, I will tell you how Bank of America approved a strategic short sale for an investor client who was not in default and paid the client $3,000 under a Cooperative Short Sale arrangement.

There are agents in town who think this particular Sacramento short sale agent can walk on water. Perhaps these are agents who hang out at pot dispensaries. I don't understand that perception. Yes, it's true that miracles happen every day, but not as a direct result of my actions. They happen because we agents in the short sale world live in the Twilight Zone. Nothing is as it seems. Nothing really makes sense. And I'm OK with that.

I've learned how to be successful in this type of dysfunctional system know as Sacramento short sales. I can sail my ship across the roughest seas without puking overboard. I'd say that's a real accomplishment.

One of the biggest misconceptions is whether a listing agent can get a short sale extension from the lender. It's not the lender's call, necessarily, but the circumstances and the PSA that make the investor call the shots one way or another. It's not predictable, either. You can not always get an extension on a short sale. You should never rely on it.

It's not a matter of cutting off the nose to spite the face. Although, it may appear that way. Things change week to week, day to day. No agent is privy to what goes on behind the scenes with the bank's investors. We can only relay what the bank tells us. If the bank says, "No extension -- if you can't close by X date we're selling the loan," you can be pretty well assured that there is no extension. I've been there when the file has been closed, and we've had to start the short sale over.

Some mortgage guy got his knickers in a twist yesterday. He was pretty irate that I was able to get an extension from a bank that had previously told me "No extension." Somehow, this was my fault that the bank had changed its mind! Why, I must have deliberately misled him or been too lazy to try to get an extension -- was his take on the situation. And just when I was beginning to experience a change of heart about him . . . thinking maybe we should let him stay in the deal . . .

He should take a clue from Morton's Restaurants. I know there are foodies who really dislike the big chain restaurants because they are not edgy, wild or innovative enough. They are predictable. There is nothing wrong with delivering uniform service or meeting expectations. I went to Morton's last night with my team member for dinner. When I asked my husband to guess where we were going for dinner, I gave him a clue. I said this was a restaurant where he would never ever go in a million years, and I would really like it. He came up with the answer immediately. Although, I've never mentioned this restaurant to him. That's how well he knows me.

At Morton's, the guy at the door shakes your hand and introduces himself. The server shakes your hand and introduces herself. Yeah, there is the "presentation," but you can waive it. The servers are quiet, unobtrusive and they deliver. If you like a good steak, you won't be disappointed. When you leave, your car is waiting at the curb. Seamless service. They anticipate what you want and think about how to make the experience pleasant, and they perform.

Wouldn't it be exceptional if all mortgage brokers and lenders followed Morton's example? Doo, doo, doo-doo. Doo, doo, doo-doo. Nope, hello, Rod Serling.

Here is a photo my husband recently shot at the Columbia River:

Like many people who don't always watch 60 Minutes, I tuned in to catch Andy Rooney's last commentary last night. I don't know what it is about the show. I used to watch 60 Minutes all the time in the '60s and '70s, but then I lost interest. Or maybe life got in the way. It's also on TV too early in Sacramento.

I recall telling some of the shady guys I knew in the get-rich-quick seminar business that they probably did NOT want 60 Minutes to show up on their doorstep. Even though I have nothing to hide, I'd be perfectly happy to never open the door to find Morley Safer standing there. That would be a little unnerving. I don't care who you are. Nobody wants Morley Safer at the door.

But everybody wants to shake Andy Rooney's hand. And get his autograph.

Andy Rooney said just what I expected him to say. Nothing more and nothing less. He said a writer writes. He will always be a writer. I can relate to that. It's true.

Rooney thinks about death -- and he doesn't like those thoughts. Who does? I imagine for years and years, long after we are all dead and gone, CBS will continue to show clips of Andy Rooney. There is a certain sense of self satisfaction to get to be who you are in the business world and get paid for it to boot. I know that first hand. Rooney's pieces are timeless. There will never be another.

There will also never be another time as good as today to buy a pool home in Carmichael. 4649 Oakbough Way, Carmichael, CA 95608 is exclusively offered by Lyon Real Estate as a short sale at $225,000. For more information, call your Sacramento short sale agent Elizabeth Weintraub at 916 233 6759. For a private showing, call Barbara Dow at 916 761 7398.

Photo: Elizabeth Weintraub

There is a cute interview in the Sacramento Bee this morning with a couple of women who are 101. The Bee asked them not once but twice for the secret to a long life. I wonder if it's because The Bee did not like the first answer, which was playing Bingo.

Before you laugh, there is really nothing wrong with Bingo. It's a game you don't play by yourself. You play with other people. It's competitive. If you're using multiple cards, I imagine it involves organization and having a system in place.

Not to mention, it's probably a hoot to yell out BINGO. I don't play bingo, so I don't really know. But if that's the secret to longevity, so be it. I hope, however, it's not the second answer, which was watching the Food Channel.

But if there was ever a one-story home in Sacramento where a person could comfortably grow old, this one is it. It's located in the lovely community of Regency Park in Natomas, and it's a short sale. There are no HOA dues.

The home faces east, so it gets a lot of morning sun. The back yard patio is close to the back door, which means in the evening an umbrella will shade you. The patio is stamped concrete, offset by the pretty landscaping and vegetation.

You've got 4 bedrooms and 2 baths. Great for grandchildren or maybe to use as hobby rooms, too. Perhaps you have a big family and absolutely need 4 bedrooms? The master suite has exterior access to another patio in the back, which is secluded.

One of the surprising factors in this home are the upgrades. You don't expect to see these kinds of upgrades in such an affordable-priced home. The first thing you'll notice is the flooring. Much of it is slate pavers installed on the diagonal. A diagonal installation tends to make rooms look bigger.

You've got granite slab counters in the kitchen, and a kitchen island. The appliances are stainless, and they all stay, say the seller. The kitchen sink is white, not stainless, and located in the kitchen island, which is extremely handy when cooking and chopping up vegetables.

5939 Caddington Way, Sacramento, CA 95835, is offered exclusively by Lyon Real Estate as a short sale at $195,000. For more information, call your Sacramento short sale agent, Elizabeth Weintraub, at 916 233 6759. For a private showing, call Barbara Dow at 916 761 7398.

A prospective short sale seller told me yesterday that everywhere she goes online to read about short sales, she finds this Sacramento short sale agent. She asked if I was too busy to work with her. Then she answered her own question. She said, "Well, you've been talking to me for 45 minutes, so I guess you have time."

The thing is I make time. I weave it out of thin air. Not really. But I am selective as to which short sales I accept. I prefer to list those that will close. Call me silly, but that approach seems to make the most sense. It's good for the sellers, and it's good for me.

I closed a couple more short sales yesterday and immediately replaced them with new listings. I find if I can maintain about 50 or 60 listings at any given time in inventory, that's a very manageable number. If my inventory falls below that number, well, I have more time to screw off. Besides, I enjoy wonderful support. I really lucked out with my team members, transaction coordinator, mortgage broker and escrow / title team. They are tops in the field.

Part of the reason I can handle such volume is because I am very organized. I used to be an escrow officer in the 1970s -- back in the days of typewriters and carbon paper -- and I handled a caseload of 60 files then. Imagine how easy 2011 is for me.

I am NOT too busy to handle your Sacramento short sale.

Although, I did have to cancel a short sale listing yesterday. The seller filed for bankruptcy after listing that short sale with me. Fortunately, we did not yet have an offer. Most buyers do not want to wait through a bankruptcy, and a bank won't approve a short sale while a BK is pending. But if a seller is leaning toward bankruptcy, it makes more sense to do it before the short sale is approved. Otherwise, a seller's liabilities might not exceed one's assets.

In this particular case, the seller and I had discussed lowering the list price. I sent a modification to adjust the price to that of the last sold comparable. At that point, the seller thought it was a good idea to try to renegotiate the commission the seller had already agreed to pay. The commission that is paid from the proceeds of sale -- it doesn't come out of the seller's pocket, and it is not an abnormal or unusual commission. The seller also decided that, from 10 states away, the seller knew more about the market value in that neighborhood than I.

There's a place somewhere for these kinds of people, but it's not in my inventory. In my inventory are short sales that have an excellent chance of closing. I don't argue losing battles. I gave that up a long time ago. It's probably what makes me a good Sacramento short sale agent today. Focus.

Did you know there is a full pull-out section in the Sacramento News and Review that is devoted to pot advertising? Even more astonishing, I suppose, is the fact the Sacramento Bee now allows medical marijuana ads. I sort of feel like Rip Van Winkle who fell asleep in the 1960s and woke up 40 years later to discover that all of his stoned-out blitherings have come true.

This is stuff every pothead toked and giggled about in jest, yet here it is, a reality. Hash bars, free 1/8ths, U.S. Patents on bud strains. And one dispensary, MediZen, has its own mobile app where you can search for the pot deal of the day. The cost of pot today is outrageous. I was totally shocked. $400 an ounce! That's more than $6,400 for a pound. But the 420 evaluation is only fifty bucks. If you don't qualify, you don't pay, so I imagine everybody qualifies who applies. Unlike those who try to do a HAFA short sale. You might think you are eligible, but many Sacramento homeowners do not qualify. Many short sale sellers don't meet even the basic requirements.

Because I am a Sacramento short sale agent, I did not go to Hempfest '11. I simply do not have the time nor the inclination. But it sounded like fun. Hempfest '11 was a 3-day celebration of all things hemp-like on the marina somewhere in Sutter County. They charged an entrance fee and frisked grandmothers. It sounded like a good place to go to get a buzz, but not for me. Still, I don't begrudge those who do.

Naw, I'm one of those people who would run out the front door and shake her fist, yelling at kids trampling on my lawn. Ay, back in my day, we bought grass in little matchboxes for $10.00. You kids, you don't even know what a matchbox is, what with your butane lighters and blow torches.

My elderly neighbor was complaining a few days ago about the skunks in Land Park. She said the smell is horrific. We have some pretty big skunks in Land Park. The problem is basically my other neighbor who used to trap them has moved to Alaska, and she is renting out her house to a guy who bought one of my listings in South Land Park several years ago. It's a small world in Sacramento. He lost that home to foreclosure. As a tenant, he doesn't care about trapping skunks. Besides, he has a yippy little dog, so skunks probably don't come into his yard.

I told my neighbor that I really don't mind the smell. It smells like skunkweed. I also said that the reason the odor probably bothers her so much is because she does not smoke pot. She's obviously unfamiliar with skunkweed. She looked at me like I just landed here from Mars, but her husband laughed.

I'm wondering, though, if that Sacramento chicken law passes -- and I don't know why it shouldn't -- maybe if we got some chickens, that would keep the skunks out of the yard. What would be really ironic would be to plant our own little cannabis patch behind the garage and then have skunks tear it out. Who am I kidding? I don't even have time to put my dahlias in the ground.

I leave you with this thought: Loudon Wainwright says Dead Skunk in the Middle of the Road was once the number one song in Little Rock, Arkansas, for six solid weeks. He says it never made it into the top 10 when he recorded it, and I believe him. That's because it's a stupid song. Smoke some pot and listen to it.

RealtyTrac reports short sales are up 38% in California for the second quarter of 2011. As a Sacramento short sale agent, I guess I am doing my fair share at moving those preforeclosure sales. For example, yesterday I closed 4 short sales. It would have been 5 except AMS -- who is a Bank of America short sale third-party vendor -- is not quite on the ball, no surprise there.

When asked why is AMS sitting on a HUD -- which was uploaded to Equator 3 days ago and would have been immediately approved by an employee at Bank of America -- Daniel said AMS has 5 days to approve a HUD and just hasn't gotten around to it. He also added that AMS will look at that HUD when AMS is good and ready to do it. So, while we could have cut Bank of America's losses on that Cooperative Short Sale yesterday, it did not close because AMS was obviously too busy to open the file.

I also see that Warren Buffet tossed $5 billion at Bank of America. Sort of dwarfs my own puny investment last month into Bank of America, but I do believe the company is a sound investment. Of course, Buffet got preferred; I got common, but still. Thumbs up, Bank of America. Now, if you can just do something about the lousy performance at AMS, like hire a company that doesn't give us short sale agents so many headaches and lose you money.

But I am tired of belly-aching about AMS. I'd rather look at the more positive side of short sales. For example, yesterday, I closed a Bank of America Freddie Mac short sale in Colonial Heights, a Nationstar short sale in Rocklin, a double PNC short sale in Midtown Sacramento, and a Seterus short sale in south Sacramento.

The Seterus short sale is noteworthy because it's been going on for more than 2 years. Two. Solid. Years. This started out as a former Countrywide, now Bank of America short sale. We even had approval a couple of times. But then squatters broke in, the pool turned green and slimy -- and the roof began to leak, dumping water on the kitchen floor and causing the ceiling to collapse. I believe I sold this home 8 times. Meanwhile, Bank of America sold the loan. The loan was sold almost as many times as I sold the home.

The problem is when you have a fixer property like this, it's hard to get the bank to understand the value of that home. That's because so many BPO agents don't know how to account for condition. So, they tell the bank it is worth more than it is. Then you have contractors who want to steal the home. Nobody wants to pay fair market value for a fixer. It's a real Catch-22. The bank and the potential buyers are too far apart.

On top of this, the price for this home continually changed. One day the bank wanted X, and the next day the bank demanded Y. The spread between these numbers varied by 30%. But if you're looking for logic in a Sacramento short sale, you're looking in the wrong place. Seterus (formerly LBPS) told me it wanted an enormous number. It was so high that it caused me to send a letter to Seterus suggesting that perhaps it simply put the seller out of her misery and offer a deed-in-lieu. The price Seterus wanted was too much. It's what completely remodeled homes sold for in this neighborhood, and this home was a fixer.

Seterus did not respond nor acknowledge my request. So, there was only thing left to do. Sell that home at that enormous price. That's what I am paid to do, believe it or not. And that's what I did.

You would think that would make the neighbors happy, but no. Some of them called me, demanding to know how I had the audacity to slap a price tag on that home that was so high. Agents were upset too because it reflected poorly on their listings. You know what? You can't make everybody happy. Spittooey, get out of my face.

I was worried about the buyer. He worked for the government in a capacity that, in my younger years, would have freaked me out. I also did not want him to spend all of this money fixing up the property before he actually owned it. However, there was no other way to get loan approval for him. We explained the drawbacks to him so he understood what he was getting into, even though I don't think he wanted to hear it, and he moved forward.

Sure enough, against all odds, it appraised. The buyer's appraisal matched the sales price. Shocked me.

See, the lesson in all of this is we can be dead right on value and dead wrong on what it will take to close. Miracles happen. Short sale agents should never give up on a seller or her short sale.

Today, that buyer is tearing off the roof and gutting the place. It's a happy ending. And I'm certain the neighbors will be wondering: How in the world did Elizabeth Weintraub ever pull this off? I didn't do it alone. It's a team effort.

Unreasonable demands. It would appear that today is filled with unreasonable demands. Part of that is because I am a Sacramento short sale agent. Yeah, I know, nobody forced me at gunpoint into this profession. I chose it willingly, walked in with my eyes wide open -- I wasn't blindsided. Still, doesn't mean I can't yip about it.

The root of the problem is often two-fold. Either a person isn't thinking straight -- and let's face it, nobody says a bank negotiator has to think to stay employed; they don't pay them to think -- or a person is uninformed. In some situations, it's better to just give in to the demands than to fight discuss.

Keep the big picture in focus. The big picture is closing the transaction. A seller told me this morning that it might be better to let a short sale go to foreclosure than to print out four pages of a bank statement. That's because this is a Wells Fargo short sale, and this is the sort of stuff they demand. It's also a Wells Fargo bank statement we're talking about.

You would think the negotiator, who requested the July statement, would see that all of July and part of June is on page 1. She already has the previous statements. But she is demanding all 4 pages, from July to March. This is causing difficulty for the seller because she is unable to access the banks statement herself. Of course, this is the very last document the negotiator needs before submitting the file for approval.

On the other hand, we are down to the wire on closing another Sacramento short sale. The buyer completed his final walk-through and signed a Verification of Property Condition (VOP). This is a buyer who is not very well managed by his agent. The buyer has had his own lion's share of difficulty in understanding how the short sale process works and his role in this short sale throughout the entire process. That's because the buyer's agent, for whatever reason, appears unable to convey information to the buyer.

But you would think the buyer could read the document he signed. In this particular case, the buyer is demanding that the seller make repairs prior to closing such as installing doors that are in the garage. A VOP says the home is to be delivered to the buyer in the same condition as when the buyer first viewed it. Those doors did not jump off and run out to the garage during this time period. A VOP also says it is not a contingency of the purchase.

You can be right in your thinking. You can be dead right. But being dead right doesn't mean a transaction will close. Ya gotta pick the hills on which you wanna die in the short sale business. My mother used to say these are the kind of people who will cut off their nose to spite their face. I deal with these types day in and day out. This is the world of Sacramento short sales.

I receive a lot of questions via email these days from buyers and sellers who are represented by other agents. They all start out innocently enough, saying they found something I wrote online. Because of search engines, finding Elizabeth Weintraub or a search for a Sacramento short sale agent on the web is fairly easy.

First, I have to tell these people that I can't help them. I cannot interfere in another REALTOR's® transaction. It's against the Code of Ethics. Of course, this is not what they want to hear. They don't believe me anyway, and it ticks them off. But it does make me wonder why they don't trust their own agent. How many people don't trust their agents? Are the numbers as enormous as they seem? I would hope not.

How can you have a fiduciary relationship without trust? Isn't trust the basis, the very foundation, of a fiduciary relationship?

Then, I look at my own situations with my own clients. Do they trust me? You can read the Zillow Reviews of this Sacramento short sale agent and draw your own conclusion. I think they trust me. But when a client tells me he has spoken with a lawyer who has some hair-brained scheme for accepting multiple offers, do I wonder if that client has lost faith in my ability to close his short sale? You bet I do. I've got one of those, and I'm feeling more like I am arguing with the client than helping him.

Fortunately, I enjoy many wonderful relationships with my clients. I believe they know how much I care. I will fight tooth and nail for them, and often I do. I keep them informed of every step of our short sale process, and I involve them in the decision making process, even if they prefer to leave those decisions up to me, because this is their home, their lives, their situation.

As a Sacramento short sale agent, I'm merely the facilitator that gets them from Point A to Point B.

There is a reason I sometimes ask buyers for my Sacramento short sales to agree to a longer period of time in Section 1 of the short sale addendum. So none of us has to listen to: Where is my stinkin' short sale approval letter? There is also a reason I have spoken to the legal guys over at C.A.R. about changing the default time in Section 1 of the short sale addendum. Because 45 days is an unreasonable expectation.

That's not to say I can't get short sale approval in 45 days because sometimes I can. It's that the odds are against it. And because, much as I would like to, I don't control when the short sale approval letter arrives. I can speed it up by quickly submitting documents. I try to submit docs on the same day they are requested. I don't drag my feet. I pound everybody around me -- just ask my battered team who duck when they see me coming.

Yet, still, without fail, I will receive an email from a buyer's agent cryin' the blues. Buyers' agents are cryin' the blues because their buyers are making their lives a living hell. Buyers get angry. They get really mad. They think the world is out to get them. The lender is delaying the short sale just to mess with them. Not. Or, they think this Sacramento short sale agent has a magic wand, which she selfishly is storing in a locked safe, and she refuses to wave it. On purpose.

Buyers are mad because they feel helpless. Hey, I didn't tell you to write an offer on this short sale. If you can't stand waiting for approval or putting up with lenders making promises to you they can't keep, then you should have thought about that before deciding to buy a short sale. Banks invariably promise turnaround times that never materialize. Negotiators go on vacation. Some of them die. I'm sure they croak right on their desks. OK, they get fired. The really bad negotiators get promoted, like this one at Chase Bank who never returned phone calls, emails or responded to faxes, and now she's a VP or something.

Buyers can't threaten the bank because the bank would have to care for that to be effective. The bank doesn't care. The investors don't care. If it's a GSE, they especially don't care.

Because buyers are mad, they want to regain control. The only way to regain control is to cancel the transaction. Then you're in complete control. Except you have no house. No escrow. No hope of closing. And you get to start over on somebody else's short sale who might not know or care about the transaction as much as this Sacramento short sale agent does.

Short sale buyers? I understand your frustration, your anger, your hostility, the sense of hopelessness and especially the fear that it won't get approved. Have a little faith. We Sacramento short sale agents are damn good at our jobs, and that approval letter will come. The odds are really in your favor, much as it might not seem like it. But if you want to be labeled a fool and cancel, knock yourself out.