For a fun-filled and relaxing experience, there is nothing in this universe as enjoyable like having half of your face ripped off. Voluntarily. I realize that some members of the opposite sex may not understand this and shake their heads in disbelief that anybody of sane mind would willingly undergo this procedure, but in some ways, men and women are polar opposites. It's what makes the world go around.
I knew that yesterday, after a long day of offer negotiations and yakking on my cell about short sale listings, I would be treating myself to a half-hour of pure torture at The Perfect Eyebrow in Sacramento. It was my very own pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
You see, Saturdays are also the designated day to collect my lockboxes. The freeways aren't as crowded as during business hours. I keep track of my closings for the week and put together a schedule to drive from one house to the next to pick up my lockboxes. I suppose I could hire somebody to do this for me, but I'm basically a one-woman real estate show.
As I drove out Highway 50, my cell rang. It was a guy who owns a rental in East Sacramento and wants to sell it. From the street address, I pretty much knew what the home looked like and how much it was worth, but I promised to stop by on my way back to check it out for him.
At the first home, I discovered the key was left in the lockbox. This closed several days ago. The buyer's agent was out of town and had turned over her business to an associate. This made me wonder if the buyer even knew it closed. I quickly sent an email to both of these agents to let them know where I left the key.
At the next home, the new buyer came around the corner and startled me. In fact, I screamed. I guess he was wondering what this woman was doing tinkering around with his gas meter. It gave me a chance to say "Welcome to the neighborhood," and then I wondered why I said that since I actually knew very little about that particular neighborhood. As a Sacramento short sale agent, I sell homes all over Sacramento, but I am not an expert in all neighborhoods like I am in Land Park and East Sacramento. I simply know how to list and sell short sales.
By the time I reached the rental in East Sacramento, the clock was ticking. Not much time left before my anticipated appointment at The Perfect Eyebrow. The tenants were not home, save for a yapping dog inside. Great. I like nothing better than taking listings where agents need to give a 24-hour notice than selling a home where pets live. The redeeming factor was the note on the door that asked visitors to remove their shoes upon entering. That could possibly mean that the hardwood floors were well maintained.
A cat sat on the sidewalk watching me. I backed slowly into the street to avoid being run over and to snap a photo with my video camera. The cat meowed at me, so I stopped to pet her, and considered the fact that I really should carry more dog and cat treats in my bag. Usually I have a supply of pet treats in my briefcase, part of my real estate arsenal, along with a flashlight and graphite. But I had left my briefcase at home.
I looked at the clock and realized I had but 15 minutes to make my way over to Howe and University / Fair Oaks. This is one of the worst intersections in Sacramento, second maybe to Watt and Fair Oaks, but on Saturday it wasn't that jammed. The Perfect Eyebrow is a new business, situated just north of the Safeway store.
The salon has tile floors, featuring a long red streak in the middle, which I guess is supposed to be an eyebrow. Individual stations are set up at the back but they are open with no privacy. This means anybody wandering through the parking lot could watch through the windows as faces are tweezed, ripped and patted, which didn't bother me but another patron might not care for it.
Although most of the customers seemed to be brides-to-be. I guess they have enough other stuff to worry about than whether some gawker is staring at them.
My stylist, I'm not sure what you call her, led me to a chair and suggested I lean back and relax. Easy for her to say. She wasn't about to have her face ripped off. This would have been a good time to hand me a glass of champagne but it wasn't that kind of salon. The stylist fussed with the lighting. It wasn't quite right for her. Just as I was about to suggest that she should wear one of those hiking headbands with a light, like guys in the coal mines used to wear, she applied hot wax to the underside of my eyebrow, waited a few seconds and then tore it off. Her cool finger on that spot was a relief.
She trimmed and brushed my eyebrow hairs. Being part Hungarian, I suppose, is what gives me such wild and woolly eyebrows. They sprong wherever they want to go. I never thought much about my eyebrows until I cut off all my hair. Now they are the focus of my face.
While she was at it, she may as well do my entire face. Little spots of hot wax and let 'er rip. Over and over. Somebody should have been rubbing my feet at this point. That would have been a welcome distraction.
For the final touch, I had my eyebrows tinted. It wasn't so much the electrolysis from the 1980s that made my eyebrows so thin -- although my stylist said electrologists don't do eyebrows anymore because styles change -- as it was all the white hairs that I could not see. Once those hairs turned brown, my eyebrows reappeared. Just like that. Magic.
When she handed me the mirror, I could not believe my eyes. My eyebrows were totally transformed. They had an arch. They looked completely normal. I made 2 more appointments. Turned on my cell and discovered I had missed a call from my husband. He called from a They Might Be Giants show in the Midwest. So, who do you think was having more fun at that moment? Him or me?
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Certified HAFA Specialist
My Sacramento Real Estate Listings
Elizabeth Weintraub is an author, home buying columnist for The New York Times-owned About.com, a Land Park resident, and a Land Park real estate agent who specializes in older, classic homes in Land Park, Curtis Park, Midtown and East Sacramento. Weintraub is also a Sacramento Short Sale agent who lists and successfully sells short sales throughout the four-county Sacramento area. Call Elizabeth Weintraub at 916.233.6759. Put 35 years of real estate experience to work for you. Broker-Associate at Lyon Real Estate. DRE License # 00697006.
The Short Sale Savior, by Elizabeth Weintraub, available at Amazon.com.
Lyon Real Estate is not associated with the government, and our service is not approved by the government or your lender. Even if you accept this offer and use our service, your lender may not agree to change your loan.
Photo: Unless otherwise noted in this blog, the photo is copyrighted by Big Stock Photo and used with permission.
The views expressed herein are Weintraub's personal views and do not reflect the views of Lyon Real Estate.
Disclaimer: If this post contains a listing, information is deemed reliable as of the date it was written. After that date, the listing may be sold, listed by another brokerage, canceled, pending or taken temporarily off the market, and the price could change without notice. It could blow up, explode or vanish. To find out the present status of any listing, please go to elizabethweintraub.com.
Wow, Elizabeth! What a day. I've been thinking of having my rather boring eyebrows shaped, too. Now I am having second thoughts!
They Might Be Giants are awesome. I think your husband was having way more fun than you were.
I hope you have a relaxing Sunday to recover from all the trauma!
Cheers,
Robin
Hi Elizabeth! WOW, what a day!!!! We juggle so much into our days.......
Eilzabeth: Make sure you deduct this eyebrow treatment as business. After all, 93% of communication is nonverbal, a large part of that being your eyebrows. :)
Yup, that's the thing about real estate. You can plan some of it, but every day has something new in store. Today I am planning to squeeze in a little time to give my older cat a bath. He has pretty much stopped bathing himself at age 18. You haven't lived until you have bathed a cat.
OUCH and OUCH -- I think just about anyone who was not having their face ripped off was having more fun, Elizabeth! :-) I'm so glad you like your transformed eyebrows, though - it sounds like it was worth it.
Elizabeth, Have you heard about eyebrow threading? My wife goes to a salon that performs this interesting eyebrow trimming technique with knotted tread. I think it stings a bit but the results are quite rewarding, I know she keeps going back. I think the salon is either Indian or Asian. Google it and see if there is someone in your area that does eyebrow treading.
Still laughing...you DID deserve a flute of champagne. I screamed like a little girl the first time I had my brows waxed. And don't even start me on discussing the very tender upper lip area! Thanks for sharing your "day in the life."
Elizabeth: Good for you! It is so hard to make time for ourselves in a busy real estate life. By the way, your eyes look marvelous!
It came back to me:
Not to put too fine a point on it, say I'm the only bee in your bonnet!
Cheers,
Robin
Sounds like you had quite a wild day! That reminds me I need to give my dog a bath today.
Well, I will say one thing. I just looked at myself in the mirror. My eyebrows look great. But the rest of my face looks like the cats shredded it to hell while I slept. I'm thinking the next time I may try threading, like Greg suggested. I believe the Lush Salon in Midtown offers threading.
Oh, and Cathy, that photo is not my new eyebrows. Those are my old eyebrows. You're not going to see a photo of my new eyebrows until my face heals. LOL.
Ah the price of beauty. . .LOL There is a reason our looks fade at about the same pace that our eyesight does. It's the only thing that keeps the sexes congenial:-)
Ladies have way too many things to do. I can barely wash my hair and brush my teeth.
How brave you are describing how you got your face waxed!
I really don't like bathing the cats at my house. But a day of pampering/torture sounds like something I have to find a way to fit in soon. I'm due.
You're right about men not getting it. I can't even stand to have a single hair plucked from my eyebrow, much less a bunch of them in rapid succession.
Elizabeth,
What a day! Glad you love your new eyebrow style. Can't wait to see them!
Your friend in the Cosmic Cow Pie.