If you've never bathed a cat, you're missing out on one of life's most treasured moments: a time to bond with your cat. Oh, who am I kidding? It's really a matter of who is in control -- you or the cat? Make no mistake about it, it's the cat.
Many years ago, I used to turn on the shower, toss the cat into the bathtub and quickly slam the door. But that method didn't work very well, so I don't recommend it.
The easiest way to bathe your cat is to take the cat to a groomer or the vet, and pay them deal to with the misery. However, most cats never need a bath as they routinely clean themselves. My cat, Brandon, doesn't. I don't take him to the vet for a bath, though, because it's too far to drive from Sacramento to Davis, where my vet is located, not to mention he'd have to be sedated because the vet can't handle him.
Brandon turned 18 in July. He has arthritis, asthma and renal disease, and most likely a bit of dementia. To help him cope with his diseases, I shoot a prednisolone pill down his throat every morning with a pill popper -- it sure beats trying to stick my fingers down his throat. If he was human and not a cat, he'd have to wear dentures. He's lost most of his teeth over the years. Except for his secret weapon, a lone canine, which could do serious damage if it came into contact with my flesh.
Brandon hates everybody but my husband and me. I've watched him turn into the Tasmanian devil around visitors. In fact, when my niece was 3, she coined the term: devil cat. "Oh, but all cats love me," my friends sometimes say, as though I have no idea what I'm talking about. I try to warn them that this cat is different, but they don't listen. Next thing you know, Brandon has slapped their glasses off their faces, across the room and body slammed 'em to the floor.
About every couple of months, I bathe him in the kitchen sink. This involves moving everything off the counters and placing towels in strategic positions. I grasp him firmly by the neck and place him in the sink. I try to use a calm, soothing voice to reassure him that everything will be OK, but he doesn't buy it. He's a smart cat; he reads the Sacramento Bee, it lines his food bowls.
He screamed bloody murder and most likely hated my guts yesterday. Getting him wet was the easy part, soaping him was more difficult, especially when his neck became slippery. It would have been nice to have had 3 hands for this chore, but my husband wanted to keep his reputation in-check as treat guy.
The trick to bathing a cat is to be firm and work quickly. During this event, Brandon turned into Superman -- how did he get his paws on a supply of Kryptonite? But I continued to shove him back into the sink, unhook his paws from the faucet and tried not to let his legs and tail go down the drain. I ended up about as drenched as he was.
Fortunately, it was fairly warm for a fall Sacramento day, and I gave up trying to blow-dry him. He wiggled all over the counter and tried to crawl into the toaster. I left him to sit on his pillow and air dry.
I'm sure the other two cats were hiding under the bed during this, thinking they better never get on the wrong side of me. Here are the "before" and "after" photos. This very happy, trusting cat turned into an angry and plotting cat. I don't know how he will get revenge, but it ain't gonna be pretty, I can tell ya that.
Photos: Elizabeth Weintraub
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Certified HAFA Specialist
My Sacramento Real Estate Listings
Elizabeth Weintraub is an author, home buying columnist for The New York Times-owned About.com, a Land Park resident, and a Land Park real estate agent who specializes in older, classic homes in Land Park, Curtis Park, Midtown and East Sacramento. Weintraub is also a Sacramento Short Sale agent who lists and successfully sells short sales throughout the four-county Sacramento area. Call Elizabeth Weintraub at 916.233.6759. Put 35 years of real estate experience to work for you. Broker-Associate at Lyon Real Estate. DRE License # 00697006.
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Elizabeth - that photo my me laugh out loud. That is one angry cat! LOL I'm so glad you both survived the ordeal.
I'd sleep with one eye open if I were you :-)
Hi There,
First let me say, how beautiful Brandon is dry and wet. I have three cats myself and my husband and I both agreed to give up on trying to fight out the "whose in control". We both know the Cats rule the house and life is much easier once we came to that decision!! Good luck with Brandon, he looks like a sweetheart.
Hi Lina: Yeah, he looks furious, doesn't he? Fortunately, he has short-term memory loss.
Hi Cindy: Brandon sleeps in a pen I have set up in our family room. With renal failure, and having had to replace both floors in my bathrooms, I don't take any chances anymore.
Hi Mary: Beautiful as he may be, he's devious. My housekeeper insists that I lock him up when she's here because she's deathly afraid of him. As she should be.
Oh, Elizabeth, what a wonder you both survived! Those photos tell a story in and of itself, but your narration of the events had me giggling all the way through. Thanks goodness for the short term memory loss, cuz that cat in the second photo, the same cat, but a vastly different cat, looks like he could seriously hold a grudge and plan a bloodbath.
What a cute cat! I can't say that I've ever bathed a cat and not sure that I would survive bathing any of ours. One of our cats is fascinating by the shower though and jumps in the tub when we get out.
I had a cat that I had to bathe every three weeks. He was a stray that I had taken in and I couldn't keep him in the house without him literally climbing the walls. Anyway, he was allergic to fleas and since I couldn't keep him exclusively in the house, he would get bitten and we'd have ugly sores and much scratching which made things even worse. So, every three weeks we used a special shampoo to help him get relief. Here is how I handled it.
I would get my bathing suit on, pick him up and we'd get into the bathtub. The water would be already on and at a comfortable temperature so that we could get right down to business. I had a pitcher that I would use to pour water on him and I'd lather him up and scrub him. Once the soap would come into contact with his skin it would make him feel so much better that he would start to purr. The reason I would put my bathing suit on and climb into the tub with him was because, just like you said, he become supercat! I would use my body to help keep him still. I didn't have anyone else to help out either. Then once we were done, we'd get out of the tub and I'd dry him with towels. It was an ordeal, but when it was all over, he felt so much better and would sit next to me and just purr and purr.
I secretly think that he loved the baths though because after a while of having to do this, he became less ferocious when it came to bath time. He would put up a small fight in the beginning, but then by the time the bath was over, he'd just be standing there letting me pour water over him to rinse off the soap. He had a good life and eventually made the transition to indoor cat and we didn't have to have the baths anymore. He lived to be 20 and was one of the best cats I've ever had.
That cat looks PO'd. Maybe if you had done it their way, with a tongue, it'd look happier.
Yes, there's a good suggestion from Mike: you should lick Brandon with your tongue. That would make bathing him much less of a chore.
Good luck with the aftermath.
Cheers,
Robin
OMG - look at the eyes. It's the eyes that are the window to the soul and kitty is pissed (ROTFLMAO).
LOL @ Robin. I can't get that image out of my head. What have you done? (LOL)
Mike, you are a playfully naughty influence on Robin. Done it their way could have created a number of scenarios (LOL).
Oh yeah you can see the revenge in those eyes a-coming! That was Hilarious Elzabeth. Those eyes are sure p'o'd!
Oh Elizabeth, that was so funny. I am still laughing. Poor Brandon, the proud elderly gentlemen. So dignified when dry, so peeved to be handled this way. Hopeful his little bit of dementia has helped him overcome the whole ordeal.
Elizabeth: God bless you! Bathing cats is something we do when they've had a bout of diarrhea. It's not fun. As for the pill popper, it should come standard with a cat. Love that tool.
I don't know if I should say poor you or poor cat. I also bath my cats, all three of them and they are only 7 to 5 years old, but my husband is a bit alergic to cat dander and it's how we survive living all together. I had to say though, I use the mud sink, because it gives me a better outcome of cleaning up easily.
Elizabeth - I loved the post, and I loved the pictures even more. Brandon looks like one smart cat! I have three Airedales and it's very hard to bathe them as well. My boy, Reno, looks demonic when wet. Next time I bathe him myself, I'll take pictures for you!
Elizabeth - You're a brave woman! I once tried to give one of my sick and old kitties and it was awful. She didn't come near me for days. I vowed to never do that again. I don't even try to bathe my doggies. I let the pros deal with it. You're much braver than me.
great story, gave me a laugh. Beautiful cat and I am sure appreciates all that you do for him, just has a funny way of showing it.
That is an evil look. I'm not sure I would tackle that project.
Elizabeth,
He looks quite mean before, but the look after is priceless. He has a lot of character, and you have a lot of patience
I have met psycho cats before. It is best to listen to the warning of the owner and stay clear. I would have refrained from trying to win Brandon over, especially if I had a glance of that after photo. Yikes.
Elizabeth - Brandon has a good mother...
Hi Elizabeth... Brandon does not look very happy, but I know of few cats who enjoy being bathed. The whole experience reminds me of the "Smelly Cat" song that Phoebe used to sing on "Friends". :)
Elizabeth,
Brandon is such a handsome guy! Looks a little angry in the after photo, though. My cat hates baths as well. If you ever find a better at home method- let me know!
Your friend in the Cosmic Cow Pie.