Before I get into a conversation about making an offer on a short sale a week prior to the foreclosure auction, I want to talk about plastic surgery. Specifically, a face lift. Oh, I know you've all seen those Sacramento Magazine articles about plastic surgery. I mean, it's the main reason to pick up Sacramento Magazine, right? Except for the Sac Mag edition with all those paid advertisements for Master's Club, which I get suckered into paying for every year. And why? So I can have my photo plastered among a bunch of other agents who are all hoping they have the guts to go under the knife on that very special day in our lives when we look in the mirror and say, yes, I should have some work done on my face. Well, I've got new for you. Photoshop is easier.
Maybe I'm the only person in the universe who did not know that a face lift goes like this: The doctor draws a line across your scalp from ear to ear. Then, the doctor cuts into your head along that line and under the skin toward your nose, yanking and peeling back half of your face down to your eyes. Muscles are cut and removed. Those pesky muscles that cause wrinkles. Then, the skin is stretched back, excess cut off, stapled, and sewn to your head.
You spend a month sleeping in an upright position. After three weeks, maybe you can eat a tuna sandwich. Because you can't get your mouth open wide enough to eat a sandwich until then. Stuff oozes from your face for a while. You might need a drain tube. But eventually all the swelling goes down, the black and blue crap goes away and you turn into a person you don't recognize when you look in the mirror. I suspect that -- as vain as I am -- I am not brave enough for this process.
But I am brave enough to handle a short sale offer less than 10 days away from a trustee's auction. I wish we had a real offer. Oh, I've told the buyer's agent how much the bank wants. I know how much the bank wants because I've already submitted 3 offers to the bank. Each has been rejected in favor of a certain price. It's not a bad price, in fact, it's about $50,000 under the comparable sales.
The first agent to write an offer on this Sacramento short sale threatened and yelled at me. "This is going to foreclosure," he screamed, waving his fists in front of his cell phone, I imagine. The second agent carried on and on about all the work that the home needed to measure up to his buyer's expectations. The third agent just submitted a lowball offer, shrugging her shoulders and lamenting "what are ya gonna do about an investor?" And that's how we got to the point of being 10 days away from a trustee's sale, yet within the Freddie Mac eviction guidelines that allow for eviction just before Christmas.
But the buyer's agent was unable to explain to her buyer how to write an offer on a short sale that will actually close escrow. She also thought we would get short sale approval in 5 days because "the bank has to do something to stop the auction." How could she possibly think that? Yup, she has those initials after her name, indicating she has successfully completed some sort of short sale training or certification course in short sales. I keep hoping these courses will turn out agents who can handle short sales, but the chances of that happening are about the same as me getting my hands on Mark Twain's Autobiography any time soon. What the bank is likely to do with an offer is postpone the trustee's auction. It won't approve the short sale in that time frame.
If the buyer had only submitted an offer with a sales price the bank will accept, we'd be going into escrow. Instead, we are simply faxing this offer to the bank. If only to keep my seller from being tossed out on his ear just before Christmas. And you can bet your new Weight Watcher Points-Plus that we'll kick this buyer to the curb the minute we get an offer the bank will take. Hey, did you hear that Weight Watchers has totally revamped its Point system? That's another blog for another day.
Photo: Big Stock Photo
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Certified HAFA Specialist
My Sacramento Real Estate Listings
Elizabeth Weintraub is an author, home buying columnist for The New York Times-owned About.com, a Land Park resident, and a Land Park real estate agent who specializes in older, classic homes in Land Park, Curtis Park, Midtown and East Sacramento. Weintraub is also a Sacramento Short Sale agent who lists and successfully sells short sales throughout the four-county Sacramento area. Call Elizabeth Weintraub at 916.233.6759. Put 35 years of real estate experience to work for you. Broker-Associate at Lyon Real Estate. DRE License # 00697006.
The Short Sale Savior, by Elizabeth Weintraub, available at Amazon.com.
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The views expressed herein are Weintraub's personal views and do not reflect the views of Lyon Real Estate.
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Elizabeth.....You make a face lift sound so appealing! LOL - I may just have to live with the wrinkles! Good luck with getting a real offer for you seller.
Elizabeth - You just gave me a thought! I often have said by the grace of God and my plastic surgeon I have done alright. But, I think you are right about photo editing tools today. You can adopt the mantra, "By the grace of God and Photoshop, you look just fine.". . .LOL
I think you look cute anyway!
Kathleen: Well, the client is not so lucky with the darned bank. I hate that bank. More so, I hate the BPO agents for that bank.
Carra: Living with the wrinkles isn't so bad, I have found. But it's the saggy eyebrows and jowls that have popped outta nowhere that have me avoiding mirrors. That's what my manicurist told me yesterday: just don't look in the mirror. There, problem solved. My husband, on the other hand, pointed out his jowls, tossed his head from side to side so I could watch them move and hissed, "Deal with it."
Myrl: Oh, no, I did not know. See how clueless I am? But tell me you didn't do the procedure where half your face was ripped down and stretched back. I know there are other types of procedures. You look great, though.
For me it is the jowls and the bags under my eyes. But I have seen too many plastic surgery tv shows to even think about it. I always thought that agents wrote bad offers on my short sales because they were inexperienced since there are not many around here, but it seems like that is not an excuse since areas with lot's of short sales also have agents writing stupid offers. At least you can still laugh about it.
Hey Marcy: What I want is for my fairy godmother to wave a magic wand over my head. I don't want knives and scalpels and blood and bruises and pain.
Given the fact that I've even given up covering my gray hair, I seriously doubt I'd ever be a candidate for plastic surgery. It's not like it changes your real age, or makes you live a longer, healthier life. You just look better at the wake.
Elizabeth- I too was noticing my jowls that seemed to appear overnight (how does that happen)! The thought of cutting my face open - no thanks, I'll live with the wrinkles. I think botox is scary!
There are agents out there with the letters after our names that do know how to write offers on short sales. We also know how to explain to our buyers what a short sale is and why you need to write the offer a certain way. I do agree with you though, many who have taken a course or training still don't get it.
Elizabeth - Thank you for the plastic surgery "endorsement" I think I will live with the wrinkles and jowls (when I get some). As for buyers agents not getting it I have to agree. Just because someone has taken a class does not mean that they actually have any common sense. Now take a day off, will ya?
Hey Chris Ann: Now that my hair is short, this might be a good time to see what my gray looks like. Because I have no idea. I've been coloring my hair for almost 30 years. What if it has streaks or really cool highlights? Maybe I'll stop coloring it for a while. I'll leave the punky cranberry streaks, though.
Hey Kathie: I suspect, and I don't know this to be a fact, that many short sale courses and certification classes focus on how to take a short sale listing, and they offer very little to the buyer's agent.
Hey Jim: What the hell do you mean take a day off? I can't take a day off. It's not in my nature. :) But I might go back to bed and snooze for an "after breakfast nap." Naw, Sunday afternoons I write my articles for About.com.
I think the code of ethics requires we need to refer or ask for assistance in areas we are not proficient in or be subject to censure. Learn how to do it right or ask the expert.