There is a lot of anger in short sales. Sellers can get stuck in any one of the 5 stages of a short sale, but I see a lot of them who struggle to push past the anger stage. It festers and churns, like a supervolcano underground, and it might never erupt. Unresolved anger can eat away at a seller's inner core. That anger needs to be released, and hopefully not directed at their Sacramento short sale agent. Sometimes, I gotta duck to move out of the way of that flying fry pan.
The anger manifests itself in subtle ways that is apparent to me when I walk through their homes. I spot it in the ripped out speakers from the ceiling, the missing light pendants over the kitchen counter, the big hole in the front yard where a tree once stood. People who are not angry do not remove fixtures from a home. Fixtures don't belong to the homeowner, they are part of the lender's security for the loan. I also see anger in the dirt and debris left behind. Some sellers don't even vacuum.
Why are short sale sellers so mad? They are mad because they have to do a short sale. Unfortunately, people who are this angry come to a short sale often as a last resort and not as their first option. They are mad at their boss for letting them go. They are mad at their spouse and children because they are there. They are mad at their new employer for not paying them a higher salary. They are mad at politicians, the newscasters on TV, and Chevron, Safeway, VISA and Wall Street. But most of all, they are mad at their bank.
The 5 Stages of a short sale are the same as the 5 stages of grief:
- Denial: They don't open mail from the bank, and they ignore the late notices.
- Anger: They don't want to live in the home anymore, just hearing their bank's name makes them cringe.
- Negotiation: They write a hardship letter to the bank, asking for a short sale.
- Depression: They feel hopeless and helpless and out of control while waiting for short sale approval.
- Acceptance: They find a place to move into, and begin to heal after the short sale is granted.
The sellers who never move past the anger stage are often the sellers the banks reject for a short sale. They are the sellers who blame the bank for the mess they are in. If the bank never made them the loan, they wouldn't be underwater, so it must be the fault of the bank. (It IS certainly the bank's fault for not granting a loan modification and taking forever to eventually reject them.) If the bank requests a seller contribution, they absolutely will not do it, even if it means the home will go to foreclosure, and their credit rating will tank for the next 10 years.
These are not really homeowners who should be applying for a short sale. These are homeowners who are simply stretching out the inevitable. Which is foreclosure. Deep down, they know it. And that makes them even madder.
Photo: Big Stock Photo
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Certified HAFA Specialist
My Sacramento Real Estate Listings
Elizabeth Weintraub is an author, home buying columnist for The New York Times-owned About.com, a Land Park resident, and a Land Park real estate agent who specializes in older, classic homes in Land Park, Curtis Park, Midtown and East Sacramento. Weintraub is also a Sacramento Short Sale agent who lists and successfully sells short sales throughout the four-county Sacramento area. Call Elizabeth Weintraub at 916.233.6759. Put 35 years of real estate experience to work for you. Broker-Associate at Lyon Real Estate. DRE License # 00697006.
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The views expressed herein are Weintraub's personal views and do not reflect the views of Lyon Real Estate.
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Excellent observations, Elizabeth. I'm going to keep your wise worda as a reference piece!
These are the same stages people go through with a death, divorce or major illness. It is a life changing event. Your clients are very fortunate to have you with them through the process.
Thank you, Crystal. I've been toying with making this post for a long time. In many ways, I do not blame homeowners for being angry. Especially those who are denied for a loan modification and then notified that they are in foreclosure.
Hi Tricia: It's a loss. There is no way around it. A short sale means losing your home, even if you voluntarily do it. And with a loss comes grief.
What a great snapshot of the whirlwind of emotions of Short Sale Sellers. I'm meeting some failry well adjusted Sellers doing Short Sales this first quarter. They know they can't do anything else. Their financial picture is not getting better. But instead of trashing the house, or taking things they shouldn't, they are cleaning up the home, fixing it up and putting it on the market with pride. That home still reflects THEM. And though they may not be able to afford the mortgage, they can have a very happy buyer thank them for taking care of the home at settlement and that means something to them.
I personally have a hard time getting over the grief for all of these people losing their homes. But I do, and then do my best to help them make the best out of a bad situation.
I liked this summary of emotions that sellers go through. It is spot on!
Hi Chris Ann: Like you, I work mostly with well adjusted sellers. OK, maybe they just seem well adjusted on the surface. Personally, I think all of them suffer some pain. But every so often I get the wild card.
Hi Marcy: Feeling their pain and being sensitive to it is but one part of our job.
Hi Melanie: In some ways, sellers of a short sale who have battled with their banks over a loan modification are almost like domestic abuse victims. They've been battered for so long they think it's normal.
Elizabeth - this makes a lot of sense. It's such a difficult thing for people to watch their home owning dream come crashing down around them.
Elizabeth
I'm going to tag this to come back to the next time I'mm off to deal with a seller that is ready to do a short sale. Know ing their state helps in dealing with them.
Thankfully I have not had to deal with this kind of short sale seller yet. All mine are terribly grateful that I am there to help them out.