While on vacation last week, I finished reading "When You Are Engulfed in Flames," by David Sedaris. I've read everything Sedaris has published -- some of you may know him as the brother of Amy Sedaris or maybe you were in the audience with me when he came to downtown Sacramento to speak at the Crest Theatre last year. I always learn something from him -- such as did you know if you fell from a 10-story building and landed on your back that your eyeballs would pop out of your head? Yeah, it's true. He spent time at the coroner's office. Those eyeballs end up dangling like those cartoon character eyeballs, BAZOOKA.
I was telling my husband about a passage in the book about when Sedaris decided to quit smoking. His solution was to move to Tokyo for 3 months, rent an apartment and take Japanese language classes. That sounded like a logical solution to me, but my husband thinks he will go back to smoking because, as he put it, who would do such a thing? Well, I might. If I was a smoker who wanted to quit, moving to Japan might do it.
Sedaris says you can't be direct with Japanese people because they are offended. He says if you want to know the time, then you should ask a person if he or she has a watch. If you want to borrow money, then you ask if he or she has any money. You don't come right out and state your question point blank because it needs to be delivered in a softer, non-threatening manner that will let the recipient figure out what you are trying to say and answer in his or her own sweet way.
As we were discussing this, a very old man of Japanese ancestry walked into our restaurant. He wore faded blue jeans, sensible flat shoes, dark socks, a plaid shirt and small hat with a brim. There wasn't an ounce of fat on this guy, he was like a walking wall of lean muscle, moving slowly yet very erect. He joined a group of other people, and carefully sat at the head of the table. It might have been his birthday.
I leaned over to my husband and whispered, "I really want to ask him how old he is because he looks like he could be 102." Given the recent nature of our discussion, my husband waved his fingers toward the other table as though he was shoo-shooing me away. To avoid offending this elderly gentleman, in keeping with the passive / aggressive nature Sedaris claims is inherent in the people of Japan, my husband suggested I get up and go ask, "Are you alive?"
The Short Sale, by Elizabeth Weintraub, coming from publisher Archer Ellison in January 2009.
Photo: Adam Weintraub, sea urchin in Kauai
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Certified HAFA Specialist
My Sacramento Real Estate Listings
Elizabeth Weintraub is an author, home buying columnist for The New York Times-owned About.com, a Land Park resident, and a Land Park real estate agent who specializes in older, classic homes in Land Park, Curtis Park, Midtown and East Sacramento. Weintraub is also a Sacramento Short Sale agent who lists and successfully sells short sales throughout the four-county Sacramento area. Call Elizabeth Weintraub at 916.233.6759. Put 35 years of real estate experience to work for you. Broker-Associate at Lyon Real Estate. DRE License # 00697006.
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You are being very clever and cute. I love this post. I am going to go post on all your Kauai posts. We use to go there every year. We use to stay in Princeville on the Eastern side of the island. It was close to the Napali coast. We loved it. We did that for about 10 years and then realized we wanted to move there. We knew we would starve. So,....we bought a coastal cruizer (37 foot Hershine Tri-Cabin Trawler....a coastal cruizer) and began a long odessy with protected water enjoyment in the Bay Area. We moored in Alameda and could be at the Golden Gate Bridge in 2 hours. Great times for our family. I'll go comment on all your posts...they brought back memories of good times.
And so did you go and ask him? Funny how customs are so different. I'd rather a direct question...
What? What would I ask him Monika? Would I ask, "Are you alive?" LOL.
Another funny story! LOL
haha...somehow I think that might not be the best tack. Love the story though!
One agent in my office said it is counterproductive to try to quit smoking, lose weight, and get a divorce all at the same time :-)
Elizabeth, I love this indirect approach you have picked up especially your punch line with this one.
Go and ask "Are you alive?" This is hilarious. Very soft indirect approach. Just so funny.
I don't think testing the eyeball theory is in my future.
Elizabeth: It really is all about manners with their culture. But at the same time, they have a hard time "insulting" people. As a waitress, my favorite bunch were always Japanese businessmen. No matter what you did to these people, they valued your serviced and ALWAYS left a good tip. I remember vividly the group that didn't speak English very well and couldn't understand what I was saying when I begged them not to help me remove the 10 sodas from my tray. BAM! There they were right in their laps. I was convinced I would get stiffed. Heck, I deserved it. Nope. 25% tip.
I don't know which question would offend me more? Gees, I could get into so much trouble.